EISENBERG IS EVERYWHERE

‘AMERICAN ULTRA’ TRAILER REVIEW BY METRO CREW

Mike (Jesse Eisenberg) is a small-town grocery clerk who spends his days getting stoned behind the counter while he kind of looks after the shop. But it turns out that he’s actually a highly skilled sleeper agent who — maybe because of all that weed — doesn’t remember who he really is. We agree that the film’s premise sounds amusing — like if The Bourne Identity met Pineapple Express — but the casting choices have us divided on how we feel about this one.

American Ultra opens in wide release Aug. 21.

PAIGE: I am so hyped for this movie. I have been sitting here for 10 minutes trying to formulate why I am hyped, and I can’t. Everything in this trailer seems awesome. The stylized violence. The dry humor. Kristen Stewart. I’ve been hyped since I first saw the trailer months ago. This and Spectre are the only two movies I give a damn about that are coming out for the rest of this year.

CHRISTINA: I usually don’t get excited for comedies — I don’t feel like most comedic films are really all that funny — but this looks pretty great. It’s like a stoney Bourne Identity.

NICOLE: Being a sleeper agent would be super cool. To have something programmed into your brain. Then you can be ordinary but also possess a great deal of knowledge and physical skill.

JAMES: This reminds me of Pineapple Express. But I think that Jesse Eisenberg needs a more reactive partner. Just seems like she’s going along with things, not feeling one way or the other about exploding cars and his buried-in-the-psyche Bourne-style antics.

PAIGE: It seemed kind of implied to me that she also seems very good at kicking ass, and that she is either a sleeper like him or a secret agent herself who knows he is a sleeper. Or she’s just so stoned she’s chill with everything!

CHRISTINA: Or maybe the whole thing is just them being paranoid and thinking people are coming to get them.

JAIMIE: UGH, I think I would like this movie. Even Jesse Eisenberg looks endearing in this one. But KRISTEN STEWART. She’s so blah. Seriously, I wish she would just stop showing up in general.

NICOLE: The only thing not exciting about this film is Kristen Stewart. She’s like, “Did you call the cops?” But it was so bad the way she said it. Not believable at all.

PAIGE: I am rather illogically a big Kristen Stewart fan. I think she’s pretty and an underrated actress. I also am one of the two-member Metro Kristen Stewart Appreciation Task Force. Part of me would like to see her in a big franchise again (that is not Twilight).

CHRISTINA: As the other member of the Kristen Stewart Appreciation Task Force, I must agree that she is underrated. I feel like a lot of people have maybe seen her in Twilight and then wrote her off after that. But, I mean, who was GOOD in Twilight? It was a bad movie. But she was great in Clouds of Sils Maria. I thought she was good in On The Road. And her and Eisenberg were both good in Adventureland, so I am glad to see them reunited here — and once again smoking a lot of weed.

JAIMIE: On another note, this proves my theory from last week that Jesse Eisenberg is everywhere right now. I’m starting to confuse his characters, which somehow just end up feeling the same.

JAMES: So he smokes, and some random lady whispers a lyrical string of words to him and awakens a killer temperament. This sort of thing happens all the time. For example, a guy gets struck by lightning, wakes up a pianist. Man gets beat down, wakes up a math genius and can even draw fractals in his sleep. Jesse Eisenberg walks into a door, wakes up a stone-cold movie star. Happens all the time.