Whale Whales On Hemsworth’s Boat

Everybody knows Moby Dick. But there was a real-life boating tragedy that inspired the tale — and it’s that story that In the Heart of the Sea zeros in on. A group of young sailors under the direction of an inexperienced captain (Benjamin Walker) and the first mate who questions him (Chris Hemsworth) head out in search of whale oil. But things go awry when a huge whale destroys their ship, and the survivors must resort to the “unthinkable.” It’s star-studded and looks to have some intense action scenes, but overall, we feel that this film may come off a little dry. In the Heart of the Sea opens in wide release Dec. 11.

JAIMIE: I felt pretty bored with the trailer until I saw Cillian Murphy. I perked up for about … five seconds? And then I went back to feeling bored. I think I would maybe give this movie a shot if I had a glass of wine (OK, more) and were watching it in the comfort of my own home — where no one would judge me if I accidentally fell asleep.

CHRISTINA: I felt a little bored at first, too. But once the whale started attacking the boat, it looked pretty exciting. At-sea movies, to me, inherently are at least a little bit exciting. They have no way out and are basically just forced to sit there and suffer.

NICOLE: I do like stories/movies about surviving. I would like to think that the hours I spend watching films like this will prepare me in case I am ever thrust into a life-threatening situation. But in this case, I will probably never run into this scenario. *knocks on wood*

PAIGE: I am interested in why the whale was just whaling on the boat. Do whales typically go crazy and just beat boats to death?

JAMES: For a whale that size, it would require real restraint on its part not to destroy those ships with a whip of its tail, and for all its sound and fury, it appears to do very little relative damage to the vessels. Basically, it’s gently splashing enough to rock the boats and knock a few guys off.

PAIGE: So the “unthinkable” that happens is that they eat each other, right? That’s always the “unthinkable.” It’s always cannibalism. It fits in with that emaciated picture of Chris Hemsworth that was floating around the Internet a while back. And it definitely fits in with the circumstances. So, calling it now: There will be one survivor (or two, at most). It will be Hemsworth. All that other pretty boy faces in the trailer will be fish food or human food.

JAIMIE: Sadly, I think the focal point of the movie is supposed to be Chris Hemsworth’s arms — I mean character.

PAIGE: I find it interesting that Chris Hemsworth has devoted himself to action films (The Huntsman comes to mind for his upcoming projects) so thoroughly. Some people might be like, but what if he’s typecast? And he just flexes his mighty arms and laughs.

JAIMIE: At this point, can you imagine Chris Hemsworth as anything but a character in an action film? It’s kind of like Leonardo DiCaprio. He can’t be anything but intense.

PAIGE: When he eats the first bite of human flesh, he’ll grimace but he’ll endure because he loves his wife, who will probably leave him because he won’t be able to recover. But he’ll understand and accept her decision, watching her as she takes the children and leaves him alone in their tiny house by the sea.

JAMES: He’ll watch them walk off. Then he’ll bust out some leftover “jerky” wrapped in cloth and twine. Maybe he’ll have two different types of satchels. One labeled “Whale Meat” and the other labeled “George.”